Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Lil' Kim Comes up Short

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air...

I've heard of a war of rhetoric, but this is ridiculous. It seems that Lil' Kim's talk is bigger than his appendage. Apparently he misfired his rocket, (the Taepo long-dong-2 series) and spit blanks, er came up short... I mean, it wasn't the long-range missile that was expected. Brings a whole new meaning to the term pencil dick don't you think.



Coincidentally, the good ole US of A fired off it's national phallic symbol just in time for the fireworks and singing of the national anthem.

You just gotta love the irony. Happy 4th of July everyone!
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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

MarketingSherpa Announces Blog Awards 2006

Well whoop-dee-doo! MarketingSherpa has announced the winners of their annual awards for business and marketing blogs. I'm sorry but I can't take this all that seriously. Especially when I see who some of the so-called winners are.

I mean, who are these people? I could easily find better bloggers that are far more deserving of an award.

Take for example Andy Wibbels. Is that a name or a condition? Give me a break. Have you ever heard the guy speak? Letsth justh sthay I've heard canariesth with lessth pitch in their warble. And of course I can always count on my favorite link baiter (Seth Godin) to lead the charge.

These turkeys are a bunch of self-congratulatory egoist hucksters marching to the beat of their own drum. Need proof?

Have you ever heard of stuffing the ballot box? Here is an example of its electronic equivalent if there ever was (http://andywibbels.com/post/1143):

"The nominations came through and I’ve been nominated for a MarketingSherpa award… help me nab the prize! Vote early, vote often!"
Have you no shame. I can only wonder how many times Andy voted for himself. Obviously enough times to win. He probably nominated himself too. Thank goodness for anonymous proxy servers.

So congrats to all the winners (there goes that tongue in my cheek again).
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Saturday, June 24, 2006

CyberCoder to the Rescue!

You might have noticed that the FISK's left column has been playing hide and seek for the past couple of weeks.

Well after a few sleepless nights in (almost) Seattle, I called on a friend of mine - the infamous CyberCoder who figured out the problem in quick fashion.

If you're a geek or a wannabe geek or need to know about stuff like Ajax etc., then he's the guy to read. Much thanks my friend.

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

links for 2006-06-11

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Uber Microsoft Propogandist Scoble Jumps Ship

Slippery Bloggers getting their Palms Greased

Robert Scoble has joined that elite group of A-listers who have successfully exploited their new found fame in the blogosphere. He is reported to be leaving Microsoft for a more lucrative job offer.

Scoble was quoted as saying:
"I wish to thank Bill Gates for giving me an opportunity at Microsoft catapulting me onto the blogger A-list. But above all I wish to thank my loyal suckup fans who have made this all possible. For without you I am nothing".
Amen brother.

Todays Blog Quiz:

So what is the difference between a self-serving politician, and a self-serving blogger?

Absolutely nothing.

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Thursday, June 08, 2006

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is Dead Meat

At least he still has his head attached, which is more than we can say for his victims.

You live by Violence, You Die by Violence

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi dead meat
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Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Blogosphere is Rigged

(Un)equal Opportunity Bloggers

Jessica Guynn poses the question:
Why is this supposedly democratic medium recreating real-world inequality? A blogarchy has emerged from the Internet equivalent of an "American Idol" popularity contest. Blog BlokeThis elite clique of bloggers -- the so-called A-listers who get checked out more often than Lindsay Lohan -- attract the largest online audience. All those eyeballs can deliver cachet, cash and the coveted contract for a blook (a book based on a blog).
Jessica goes on to discuss inequality in the blogosphere where it seems that 1% is getting 99% of the traffic. But she goes too far when she whines that most of the A-listers are men.

She seems to have forgotten that the Huffington Post, Ann Althouse, the Wonkette et al are blogs run by women A-listers. So I don't want to turn this into a pissing match between the sexes.

Trust me when I say there are a whole lot of male bloggers that are in the same boat. No matter how hard they try and tweak their sites they just can't seem to crack the barrier.

But the truth of the matter is there is a disproportionate amount of traffic going to only a privileged few that have eked out there own network hierarchy within the blogosphere.
And so, a complex social phenomenon becomes purely mathematical: The more links pointing to you -- especially from big-time bloggers -- the more readers you will have (according to the method of judging blog popularity by number of links)... talk about creating a powerful, self-reinforcing and very exclusive network.

The Blogosphere is Rigged

Unfortunately this sort of BS becomes self-perpetuating when blog search sites such as the Truth Laid Bear, Technorati, and Sphere et al reinforce the A-list mentality with their stupid juvenile ratings. Even Google's Blog Search has a "Sort by relevance" filter which is the default setting.

The A-listers bank on the gullibility of blogging newbies who don't know any better. After all, we just want to belong don't we? So we hang around the A-lister's like a pack of stray dogs at the corner store hoping they will throw us a bone or two (i.e. links).

Search Filters:

We can't even install a news reader today without a ready-made A-list, and a perusal of the search engines (I call them search filters) will quickly point us in their direction.

So where does that leave the rest of the 99%? On the outside looking in that's where. Like I said before, the Blogosphere has turned into one big frat party. And here I thought I left jerks like that back in school. What a crock. Feh!

More Signal, Less Noise:

These blogarchy types subscribe to the theory of "More Signal, Less Noise". Meaning -- YOU are the noise.

Sure, some of the blogarchy deserve to be there. There's no questioning that. BUT I can find better blog writers any day of the week than most of these so-called A-listers.

So here is a dirty little secret for all of you not yet in the know. The blogosphere has been rigged. The majority of the A-listers only got where they are because they have high profile jobs, are members of elite blog networks they have created, or were linked to by other A-listers that they sucked up to. It is a self-serving megalomaniac gang of social climbers that there ever was.

So what can you do about it?

Well for one thing you can stop blogrolling these A-list nincompoops. Don't give them any of your link love. If you still have a morbid curiosity and want them within easy reach then just bookmark them. But whatever you do DO NOT give them a pagerank boost by linking to them in your blog.

Start your own blogroll with bloggers who have a similar focus. Visit them often and link to their posts. Comment on their posts and create your own cosmos support group. That's a good start.

Or better still, just suck up to them and hope you get linked. Just kidding (I think). Show me love. ;-)
Related links: daily fisk, fun, funny, humor, humour, satire
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Monday, May 15, 2006

Carnival of the Best of Me Symphony

The Best of Me Symphony is now up hosted by none other than the infamous Friedrich Nietszche. Do yourself a favor and check out all the fun and frivolity.

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Saturday, May 13, 2006

McCain Attacks Bloggers, Sinks Ship with Loose Lips

That's no easy feat even for an old navy man such as John McCain. He says bloggers are old enough to fight his damn wars but not enough to speak our mind.

Think Progress notes McCain's attack on the blogosphere:

When I was a young man, I was quite infatuated with self-expression, and rightly so because, if memory conveniently serves, I was so much more eloquent, well-informed, and wiser than anyone else I knew. It seemed I understood the world and the purpose of life so much more profoundly than most people. I believed that to be especially true with many of my elders, people whose only accomplishment, as far as I could tell, was that they had been born before me, and, consequently, had suffered some number of years deprived of my insights…It’s a pity that there wasn’t a blogosphere then. I would have felt very much at home in the medium.
Damn the torpedoes and full steam ahead. I think we've just been broadsided matey.

Very wittily said John, but all you've accomplished is to demonstrate your ignorance of the Blogosphere. If you only knew how old I really am (but don't you dare ask).

So I guess we've all been told. So much for freedom of speech. Maybe we should put an age limit on it. Now there's an idea for you John. There outta be a law.
In 2000, John McCain called Rev. Jerry Falwell an “agent of intolerance.” Yesterday, in a naked attempt to broaden his political base, McCain delivered the commencement speech at Falwell’s Liberty University. McCain’s hypocrisy was noted on many blogs. He returned the favor in his speech at Liberty by attacking the blogosphere.
A commentor also noted:
McCain’s lurch to the right begs the following question: Could it be possible that Republicans are also saddled with shitty consultants?
Psst... here's a dirtly little secret. McCain's a mole. So now you know.

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Friday, May 12, 2006

The Carnival of Comedy

The Carnival of Comedy is being hosted this week by the faux doctor himself Dr. Phat Tony so be sure to check it out.

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Friday, May 05, 2006

Free Online TV

This in from Blog Bloke. You can watch over 70 TV Stations and 700 TV Show Episodes for FREE. I'm watching Monty Python (now you know where my sense of humor came from). Hmm... I wonder if they have Faulty Towers?

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Thursday, May 04, 2006

Colbert Video Pulled from YouTube

But you can still find it here:

The videos of Stephen Colbert's speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner have been pulled from YouTube. C-SPAN which owns the copyright to the videos asked YouTube to remove them. BUT you can still view the videos on iFilm and AOL's The Daily Pulse. And here's another one I found @ PeekVid.



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Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Colbert Fisks Bush... is removed from A-List

Me thinks he won't be invited to the White House anytime soon:

Was it just me or did Colbert sound more mean spirited than funny? I know what you're thinking. Look who's talking, but still... check out the video for yourself.



You can view parts 11 and 111 here.

UPDATE: The Colbert video was pulled but you can still find it here.
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Saturday, April 29, 2006

links for 2006-04-29

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