Friday, July 29, 2005

Mail Order Brides, Japanese Style

I can only imagine what she looks like in a thong.

I have seen the future and it is sexy. Apparently the Japanese have developed a realistic looking fembot ('female' android).

"She has flexible silicone for skin rather than hard plastic, and a number of sensors and motors to allow her to turn and react in a human-like manner".

I've heard of asian mail order brides but this is going too far. Perhaps in the future they will have different models. (Blonds maybe :)

Gentlemen, place your orders.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I'll see yur Goat and Raise you a Cow

A Kenyan offered Bill Clinton a dowry of 40 goats and 20 cows for Chelsea's hand in marriage. The love-struck African admitted he may have gone a little overboard with all the animals but assures us she's worth it. Sources say it isn't her only offer and Bill is thinking it over.

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Monday, July 25, 2005

Roberts just Smiles for the Cameras

"He smiled but didn't reply."

John Roberts

(but ya gotta admit it is a great smile :)

John Roberts declines to explain why he was listed in a Federalist Society leadership directory when the White House says he doesn't recall being a member of the conservative legal organization.

"I don't think he wants to take any questions," Feinstein interjected during the session with photographers and reporters that was part of the meeting in her office with the Supreme Court nominee. "No, no, no thanks," Roberts added.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

If they take Manhatan, we'll take Mecca

Hasn't anybody seen Dr. Strangelove? Talk about death by stupicide.

Congressman Tom Tancredo put his foot in it when a talk show host asked him how the country should respond if terrorists hit U.S. cities with nuclear weapons.

"Well, what if you said something like - if this happens in the United States, and we determine that it is the result of extremist, fundamentalist Muslims, you know, you could take out their holy sites," Tancredo answered.

"You're talking about bombing Mecca," Campbell said.

"Yeah," Tancredo responded.

The congressman later said he was just "throwing out some ideas" and that an "ultimate threat" might have to be met with an "ultimate response."

Perhaps that will be his undoing and the good citizens of Colorado will 'ultimately throw him out' next election.

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Beam me "UP" Scotty

James DoohanJames Doohan (Star Trek "Scotty") passed away today much to my personal sadness. You see it wasn't that long ago when I had the pleasure to meet Mr. Doohan, although our first close encounter almost ended up in a head butting.

I had business (no I didn't have to go to the toilet) in an old mansion where a movie shoot was happening. Despite the fact they were ready to roll the cameras they let me through. After completing my errand I was descending a winding staircase that had lighting cables strewn all over the steps.

Because of all the cables I had to look at my feet so I wouldn't end up taking the short trip to the bottom. There was a bunch of actors standing there dressed in butler's uniforms, and about half way down I heard one of them shout "heads up! I looked up to find myself staring eyeball to eyeball with James Doohan, who just happened to be doing the same thing coming up the staircase. We narrowly missed a collision in mid flight.

In my astonishment all that I could muster was "beam me 'down' Scotty". I know, I'm sure he's heard similar versions a million times before but it seemed appropriate at the time and it did get a chuckle out of him.

Later I met him outside again and we shook hands. I thanked him for all the pleasure that he had given me with his wonderful character "Scotty" and told him what an honour it was to meet him.

What a sad day for his fans. Let's hope James will be beamed up to that great starship in the sky where all good trekkies go. "Aye captain".

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Just who is John Roberts anyway?

Is Judge Roberts a sleeper? Does a radical fire-breathing right-winger lay beneath those charming good looks?

Sounds like the makings of a good conspiracy. Something that Teddy Kennedy can get his teeth into.

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Is Canada going Soft(er) on Terrorism?

Or is Islam just the flavour of the month for special interests?

In the extremely stupid category, apparently Canada’s “hate crime” laws don't apply to Muslims who promote terrorism against Israelis.

According to Canuk standards, saying that Israelis are ‘legitimate targets’ is not a hate crime.

Police have decided not to charge a controversial Muslim leader under Canada’s hate-crime laws for suggesting on a television talk show last fall that all adult Israelis are “legitimate targets” for Palestinian terrorists.

Investigators with Halton Region police said that while the comments by Dr. Mohamed Elmasry “were described by many as (a) hate crime,” they did not meet the legal definition.

“Although the comments would be considered distasteful to many, in this context they do not constitute a criminal offence,” police said in a news release. “The comments were made during a free-flowing discussion between subject-matter experts who were encouraged to express their opinions openly on a topic of significant public interest.”

The FISK notes it wasn't that long ago just looking cross-eyed at a Jewish person would have been enough to cause all hell to break loose. Now it seems they are fair game like most everyone else, at least in Canada that is.

My how times have changed. Could this be another example of Canadian ambiguity and willingness to go soft on terrorism to avoid becoming a target itself. Proving that it doesn't take much to intimidate a country with little or no military to speak of. Oy!

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Friday, July 15, 2005

Lame duck...

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... and they have the nerve to call it a profession.

A third of all so-called medical studies are bogus! It wasn't long ago when so-called physicians prescribed a good-ole blood-letting to cure all that ails ya.

Got stomach cramps? Give some blood. Fever? Shed a little blood. Suffering from a serious traumatic accident with limbs missing and great gobs of blood everywhere? Give more blood.

Give me a break.

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Bigfoot Spotted in Yukon

There's more than gold up in dem der hills, eh!

The legendary creature "Bigfoot" (Sasquatch) was spotted again in the Canadian Yukon. Witnesses, (some of whom are children) claim they saw the hairy, human-like creature pass in front of a house window, and then later behind an abandoned car (and it wasn't Uncle Harry sleeping it off again).

"He ran through the backyard, and that's when I seen him," said one man who was on his porch at the time. "You could see a big, black thing go by, and you couldn't see no head or nothing. So, I figured it was somebody messing around."

"We weren't gonna tell anybody at first 'cause we thought everybody was gonna look at us and say we're all snakin' out or we're crazy," said another eyewitness. "It wasn't too much fun explaining it at first, but once everybody starts believing us, it's not so bad. They wanted to see the track, they wanted to see the pictures, they wanted to see the hair and stuff like that. ...

"I wouldn't want to run into him in a dark, back alley or anything like that. Geez, it stands over ten feet tall, [it would] probably tear my head off or something."

The men said some evidence was left, including a footprint about twice the size of a human print, and a patch of hair which has already been sent to a conservation officer in Whitehorse for possible DNA review.

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Thursday, July 14, 2005

Was Pat Buchanan Right?

As I was writing my post about the possibility of Canada being next on al-Qaeda's hit list, I ran across this site by accident and just had to FISK it.

I copied the post in its entirety, bad spelling and all. I trust you will find it as amusing as I did. The author (who I assume is Canadian) states:

"As if having Anne Maclellan as our protector wasn’t bad enough, now we as Canadians have been transfixed into believing that Canada is somehow a likely target for future terrorists activities. This notion that terrorists have anything to gain by attacking us is laughable, but the reason as to why they will not attack is stark.

Canada has taken a beating over our lapse security by several American media outlets in the past four years. From FOX News’ false claims that many of the 911 hijackers came from Canada to our own security experts warning that the world’s largest border is too pourous to completely monitor - Canada has many problems to worry about. A terror attack just doesn’t fit.

As cynical as it may seem, Canada is a startegic country to radical terrorists. They need Canada for easy passage into the United States. If security at our borders becomes draconian it will dismantle the highly coveted ‘easy access’ terrorists need to travel to America. CSIS has already indicated the existence of sleeper cells within our borders and the FBI has expressed its concern as to whether or not our government is doing everything it can to protect the border. This role may not be one which resounds posistivity, but as long as terrorists dream of ending America, Canada is one of the safest places to live. This is not a favourable posistion for our country to be in politically, however the reality is that our country is seen as a safe house for several terrorists organizations.

The Canadian government has decided to use the London bombings as a wake up call. We are being urged to be vigilant and prepared for a possible terrorist attack. This need to communicate a possible future threat is politically motivated in order to be able to say ‘I told you so’ in case an attack ever ocurs. In the meantime, terrorists will continue to view Canada as the ideal waiting room for whenever they decide to take their agression out on America."

This was my response:

Unbelievable. You have basically made Pat Buchanan's case that Canada is complicit in the terrorist campaign.

After reading this diatribe I wouldn't blame Bush for bombing Toronto.

Pat Buchanan @ wikipedia.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Death by Stupicide

Home-Grown Terrorism:

Call 1-800-TERROR and Free the Culture of Paranoia.

Before the recent London bombings we thought we had all the answers covered. But today's news reveals the plot has somewhat thickened.

That nice clean-cut boy next door you watched grow up, who played with your kids and broke bread with you could be the next terrorist in the making.

If the thought of that prospect doesn't give you goose bumps then perhaps blood no longer courses through your veins.

Until recently it seemed that the majority of terrorists (or at least the 9/11 bunch) were imported Saudis posing as international students on temporary Visas.

So we reasoned all that we had to do was pass a law to take away civil liberties, build an impregnable wall around our borders, and scrutinize (profile) those temp Visas a little more closely. After all, it was just an immigration problem, right?

Stop importing the terrorists! Send the troops over to their homeland and pound them into oblivion. (Woops, sorry Iraq... the Saudis are untouchable). Teach them a lesson so they won't try it again. Simple. Problem solved.

Unfortunately the reality is there is nothing we can do to stem the tide, and simple answers will no longer suffice. Religion it seems (at least for some misguided fanatics) is thicker than blood or nationality, and much stronger than steel.

We can no longer afford to live in denial, insulated from the realities of the world that we now live in. Smart bombs and a few kick-ass marines aren't going to make terrorism go away. Nor is it just some news item in a far-flung land with a strange name. It is now in our very own backyard.

It is a fool's game that accepts the notion we can live in self-imposed armed encampments we call home, somehow comforted in the knowledge that watchful cameras monitor our every move, on every street, on every corner.

It is not enough, and recent events have shown that it does little to prevent the crime. But it does aid in capturing the perpetrators after the fact. Some consolation for the dead and the dying.

Our lives have been forever changed. Never again will we casually nap on the bus, the subway, the train as we make our way back home after a hard day's work. One wary eye left open, forever vigilant, on the lookout for that one individual who doesn't seem to "fit in".

No longer will we come home to our dinner, sit in our favorite cosy chair and indifferently watch the news of atrocities around the world, dragging our weary bodies to the perceived safety of our warm beds and sweet dreams.

All that has been forever changed in one swift, apocalyptic moment. George Orwell's classic story of "Big Brother" forever watching; a society of lost liberties and mass paranoia has now become a self-fulfilled prophecy instead of a work of fiction.

Think of it. The rallying cry of Bush and Blair after 9/11 was "FREEDOM"! And we have the temerity to smugly laugh at the Chinese building the great wall of China. At least the Huns were still on the other side.

So what do we do now? Drop smart(er) bombs on London suburbs to kill the monster within! Yeah, right.

Isn't it a little like trying to kill cancer when it is no longer localized and has travelled throughout our entire body? We medicate ourselves with mass radiation even though we know it is too late and won't work, only to end up dying by irradiation (or codeine) overdose.

The Japanese call it hari-kari. Or, to put it more succinctly - death by stupicide. Whoa, I think I'm having an epiphany!

Ironic isn't it? It's time to rethink this folks.

P.S.: For all those hardcore paranoid types out there you can always place a call to " 1-800-TERROR ". Fink on your neighbour, your best friend or even your family. Go ahead, you'll feel a whole lot safer. It's pay-back time for those meddling in-laws.

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Terrorist Mantra


"We know very well what the "grievances" of the jihadists are. The grievance of seeing unveiled women. The grievance of the existence, not of the State of Israel, but of the Jewish people. The grievance of the heresy of democracy, which impedes the imposition of sharia law. The grievance of a work of fiction written by an Indian living in London. The grievance of the existence of black African Muslim farmers, who won't abandon lands in Darfur. The grievance of the existence of homosexuals. The grievance of music, and of most representational art. The grievance of the existence of Hinduism. The grievance of East Timor's liberation from Indonesian rule. All of these have been proclaimed as a licence to kill infidels or apostates, or anyone who just gets in the way.

FOR a few moments yesterday, Londoners received a taste of what life is like for the people of Iraq and Afghanistan, whose Muslim faith does not protect them from slaughter at the hands of those who think they are not Muslim enough, or are the wrong Muslim.

It is a big mistake to believe this is an assault on "our" values or "our" way of life. It is, rather, an assault on all civilisation."

Glenn Reynolds prefaced this by adding "Read the whole thing, in which Christopher Hitchens explains the facts of life to the clueless."

A word to the wise Glenn. Most Muslims are NOT "jihadists", so let's keep that in mind. Fanning the flames of discontent may increase your readership but all roads no longer lead to Rome either. Peace and get a grip bro.

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Monday, July 11, 2005

Bush Bravado: Today's Quote

"The only way the terrorists are gonna win is if we lose our nerve. That isn't going to happen on my watch."

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

London Terror

Can Terrorism Defeat Terrorism?

You can't beat terrorism with shallow words of bravado or military reprisal. There, I've said it so it all you war mongers out there can throw your daggers if you wish because I'm ready and you cannot shake my resolve.

Did that statement deter you? I think I've made my point but let me explain.

Today we woke up to the shocking news of four bombs set off by terrorists in London. In my case I just happened to be watching TV and caught it live on the news. I watched in horror as I saw a bus ripped open like a tin can, and reports of mayhem as images of injured people hobbling around looking for help flashed before my eyes.

My thoughts immediately flashed back to 9/11 of buildings falling down and people leaping out of windows to their certain deaths on the pavement below.

What made it even more surreal was that just minutes earlier I had watched an English movie about terrorists setting off a dirty bomb in London. Even more amazing was the response the terrorist made during interrogation.

When the Brit interrogator said there will be a military response from England and more people will die, the terrorist smiled and said "we are counting on your reprisal. Our attack divides you and makes you weaker. Your reprisal only unites us and makes us stronger".

Are those the mere words of somebody that we can smugly write of as a lunatic? Label them in the same mold as a Jeffrey Dahmer with a religious twist? Or is it a cunning and intelligent adversary whom we cannot understand?

SUN TZU's "the Art of War" refers to it as knowing thy enemy, and it appears that they know us even better than we know ourselves. At this point we don't know yet for certain who is responsible. Nevertheless, terrorists share commonality in their roots, methods and goals, and perceived wrongs, hatred, revenge and religious fervor are just some of them.

Question: Has military action in Afghanistan or Iraq changed anything since then? Today we found out the hard way that it hasn't. Even if it wasn't Al Qaeda we can still see the mayhem their agents continue to cause in the middle east. So how long must we suffer until we get the point?

You can't rely on smarter bombs, cameras on every corner, homeland security or undercover operatives to catch all of these fanatics. They have the advantage. They are small in numbers and can blend in the general populace.

We are not dealing with a single army that can be nuked into oblivion in one final apocalyptic blast. They exist in small cancerous cells that are all over the world, and odds are some of them are going to slip through. A mathematician who understands the laws of probability will tell you that.

The only winners in this game are CNN and their ilk whose ratings go through the roof when these tragedies happen. Have you ever noticed they present the news like it was another Schwarzenegger blockbuster action movie? But this isn't a movie folks. It's real and hardcore.

When I saw Tony Blair make his statement at the G8 conference I couldn't help but get the feeling his words were hollow. He was visibly shaken and when he spoke words of bravado about this terrorist attack not shaking his resolve, it seemed rather shallow and almost ludicrous.

Let's look at the balance sheet. A terrorist slaps on a backpack with a bomb in it and takes a ride on a bus. They are blown to smithereens and don't feel a thing and happily go off to eternity in a drunken orgy. Their families are well taken care of by the brotherhood and are proud of their sacrifice.

Whereas on the other side of the equation dozens of people suffer horrific injuries and are crippled for life either physically or emotionally. Some even die and families are shattered. Who wins?

We respond and kill many more of them with our smart bombs including women and children in collateral damage. They say "see, look at those terrorist Yanks and Brits", and a young orphan grows up to become another martyr to continue the cycle.

Take a look at Israel and Palestine and you will see there will be no peace until someone has the courage to stop the cycle. It can't be about an eye for an eye.

Will we ever learn from history? "Violence only begets more violence" and the only empire that was able to satisfactorily quell terrorists were the Romans. And why were they successful? Because they were more brutal than the terrorists. Smart bombs just won't cut it.

Ironically, they also consider it an act of terrorism. The terrorists justify their actions by propagandizing collateral damage from these so-called "smart" bombs". Just a little more high-tech. Tit for tat.

Is that an exaggeration? Perhaps. But it's not the point. So long as the general populace buys into it that is all that matters. It is a war of the mind and hearts of the people, and that is far more powerful than any bomb that can ever be created.

Makes you think doesn't it? I hope so. It is called shifting our paradigms and I recommend Stephen Covey's work.

Do you want to live in a world of fear and loathing? Is that the legacy you want for your kids? I hope not because neither do I.

So go ahead. Call me a liberal, socialist, left-wingnut, pinko, peacenik, whatever. Throw your daggers and smart bombs. But remember my family is more powerful than yours and will avenge me. They have a long memory so you had better watch your back because you never know when your number will be up.

Believe it or not I have personally mediated a dispute between two Iranian men who said those exact words. Needless to say, when we were finished everyone was still alive.

To believe that the 'enemy' is out to destroy us merely because of differing ideology is naive and simplistic. Sounds a lot like the old Vietnam/Soviet line doesn't it? Communism vs. democracy ($$$ capitalism). Good vs. evil (who has the moral high ground). Justice for the perpetrators (you hit me first). Or could it really be big business interests vs. religious fervor?

I can assure you the notion that we can defeat terrorism with perceived terrorism will only backfire on us. Just ask Richard the Lion Hearted.

They see no difference between between a low-tech human bomber and a "smart bomb" let fly from an F-18. We may disagree with that comparison but nevertheless that is the way they "perceive" it, and that is the bottom line.

Desperate actions by desperate people. Does that justify anything? Of course not. But the sooner we begin to understand the way the other side thinks the better. And that is how we move from our entrenched positions, to mutual understanding, to concensus.

There is always a reasonable answer to any dispute/war, and eventually both sides will come to that realization. But that can only be accomplished by sitting down face to face. And that can be difficult when both sides remain convinced they have God and Right on their side. Let's just hope that it will happen soon enough before more innocent people have to die.

What's the answer? Yes, I am appalled and my immediate reaction is to bomb the sh__ out of them. Track down the perpetrators and bring them to justice. But remember they also consider our leaders to be criminals, and acting like texas rangers with both guns blazing and creating more martyrs is not the answer.

The point is you cannot defeat an enemy who is full of hate and willing to die for an ideal in the belief that they will be rewarded in a better afterlife. You can only defeat an idea with another idea - not with guns and bombs. That is how the Soviet Union fell. Not by bombs but with the realization that communism just wasn't working.

The mediator in me says let's find a win/win so we can all coexist in peace. We need to take a look at the bigger picture. Just what are our interests in the middle east anyway? And what are the interests of those who live there? At least that is a place to start.

Have I made my point? Sounds too idealistic for you? Too weak? Too compromising? Then what are the alternatives?

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Sunday, July 03, 2005

Live 8 Concert - who really benefits?

The Live 8 Concert came and went with the usual fanfare.

Googling the news pulled up items like: "Best Concert Ever", or "20,000 visit Moscow Red square".

That's all very well and nice, but should not the headlines be reading - in the grand scheme of things will the concert really make any difference in stamping out poverty? Instead of headlines like, "Bono fired up a huge London crowd yesterday, singing Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band". Or, "Bob Geldof and Paul McCartney... wave to the crowds at the finale of the Live 8 concert in Hyde Park."

It's too bad the Pope doesn't offer sainthoods for entertainers. But then again they did make Paul a sir didn't they, so you never know. Must have had something to do with improving Britannia's GDP and all that. Maybe money can't buy you love Paul, but...

Past Live Aids have raised money and political awareness for poverty in Africa. But this time around with all those aging rock and rollers hobbling on stage all that they are really raising is the dead.

Unfortunately that is the real legacy of this concert. A last hurrah for senior citizen rockers trying to prove they can still shake their booty with the youngsters. Or to provide exposure for the up-and-commer/wannabes trying to out-do their mentors.

Now don't get me wrong. I enjoyed the music as much as anybody. It was great to see Roger Waters "tear down the wall" and reunite with Pink Floyd. Roger Daltry and the Who proved that old farts who wanted to "die before they get old" have still got what it takes. Lucky for them not all wishes come true so they could spend all that money in their golden years of retirement. Unfortunately for the rest of us who purchased their music we will actually have to work until we are old (or die).

But I digress. I really do hope that some good will come out of the concert. But I'm not that naive, and I've lived long enough to know there's more than meets the ear... er, I mean the eye.

So who are the real winners with these concerts? Could it be the entertainers who give their "free" time to resurrect or promote careers at the biggest venue of all time, but rarely reach into their own pockets where it really hurts?

Too bad for Michael J that he was busy getting off child molestation charges (hee hee hee). I mean really, Geldof's claim to fame was reminding me that "I don't like Mondays". If it weren't for live-aid we would all be singing "what about Bob". For crying out loud even George Michael pranced on stage harmonizing with McCartney to the tune of that ancient Beatles' ditty "Drive my Car".

Bottom line is, in the long term will it really make any difference or is it just shameless self-serving promotion? Beep, beep'm, beep, beep yeah!" Need I say anymore?

UPDATE: Sir Paul McCartney landed the headline spot at Live 8 after threatening not to perform at all. But the music was really great wasn't it? Shiznit.

Looking at all of the comments over at blogcritics, if one conclusion can be made it would be that most of us 'fans' have become cynical with our hypocritical do-gooder heros and their hollow words, as they live lavish lifestyles and are the ones who are really benefitting from these so-called "benefit concerts".

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Friday, July 01, 2005

Just Deserts

Update on the expropriation of (Kelo) Justice David Souter's property:

"Insisting that the request is "not a prank," (Logan) Clements said the proposed development, called "The Lost Liberty Hotel" will feature the "Just Desserts Café" and include a museum, open to the public, featuring a permanent exhibit on the loss of freedom in America. Instead of a Gideon's Bible each guest will receive a free copy of Ayn Rand's novel "Atlas Shrugged."

Clements indicated that the hotel must be built on this particular piece of land because it is a unique site being the home of someone largely responsible for destroying property rights for all Americans.

Clements' plan is to raise investment capital from wealthy pro-liberty investors and draw up architectural plans. These plans would then be used to raise investment capital for the project. Clements hopes that regular customers of the hotel might include supporters of the Institute For Justice and participants in the Free State Project among others.

Anyone interested in contributing to this endeavor can contact Logan Darrow Clements at (310) 593-4843 or email him at"

Go get 'em Logan.

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