Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Pat Robertson Jihad Update

The Videos Tell a Different Story Pat!

Pat Robertson now says that he never suggested Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez should be killed, and that his comments were taken out of context:

"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out.' And 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping; there are a number of ways to take out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP [Associated Press], but that happens all the time," Robertson said on "The 700 Club" program. (Watch Video Robertson's Apology).

But his retraction falls short of more incriminating comments that he made earlier:

"If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think we really ought to go ahead and do it," said Robertson on Monday's program. "It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war." (Watch Video Robertson's Original Comments)

This writer refused to go the extent of vilifying Robertson like others have, but given his ineffectual apology I now find myself wanting for his excuses.

As you can see Pat the tapes tell us a different story. It's time to get with the program and come clean. Show us some of that character you like to preach. Do the right thing, fess up and stop making excuses.

And while you're at it look into that alzheimer's problem.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Pat Robertson calls for Jihad against Chavez

WHICH only proves that alzheimer's can affect anyone.

OOPS ! Now he's stepped in it. Perhaps it was a case of thinking out loud? Or is it just stinkin' thinkin'?

Pat Robertson was caught talking more like a political leader instead of the founder and chairman of The Christian Broadcasting Network 700 Club. He dared to reiterate out loud what is covertly whispered in the hallowed halls of the White House on a routine basis.

For all our (understandably) moral outrage, perhaps the White House should come clean and admit that discussions like this are an every day occurrence by the nation's power brokers:

(CNN) "If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it," Robertson told viewers on his "The 700 Club" show Monday. "It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war."

Although the State Department says Robertson's comments are "inappropriate", Bush has yet to respond.

Robertson accused Chavez, a left-wing populist with close ties to Cuban President Fidel Castro, of trying to make Venezuela "a launching pad for Communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent... this is in our sphere of influence, so we can't let this happen".

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it," Robertson said. "It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war ... and I don't think any oil shipments will stop."

Chavez (who has previously accused the U.S. of wanting to topple his government) has immediately turned this into a public relations pity-party accusing Pat Robertson of making "terrorist statements".

"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said. "We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

Criticism of Robertson has been swift who has yet to make an apology.

"It's absolutely chilling to hear a religious leader call for the murder of any political leader, no matter how much he disagrees with such a leader's policies or practices," said the Rev. Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State (search).

Chavez survived a brief 2002 coup, a devastating two-month strike that ended in early 2003 and recall referendum in 2004. The former army paratroop commander, a close ally of Cuban leader Fidel Castro, is up for re-election next year, and polls suggest he is the favorite.

Yes, what he said was wrong, BUT who are we kidding with all our moral outrage?

We all know that this stuff goes on all the time. But because it was Robertson all of a sudden we turn into a bunch of stone throwing prima donnas.

So who's the hypocrite?

Obviously Robertson has been playing politics for so long he's forgotten which hat he's wearing. He needs to make a decision which role he wants to play and stick to it.

Is he a political pundit, or is he a representative of Christ? Because this is a perfect example how the two don't always mix.

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Monday, August 22, 2005

Tail that Mocks the Blog

In his article "The Tail That Wags the Blog", Joel Achenbach of the Washington Post smugly boasts about his popularity while making jest of Bloggers:

I'm surprised that bloggers didn't get it. Achenbach conceals his true derision of bloggers behind a camouflage of disingenuously written humor.

A few weeks back, I blogged three paragraphs on Karl Rove. Someone at Google News linked to the blog, and a Rovestorm erupted, a festival of vituperation, with a commensurately outstanding number of page views.

Yes Joel, how difficult can it be when you're a member of the Dan Rather fraternity?

"The continual focus-grouping explains why most bloggers write as though their primary goal is to rise in the Google search results."

Why so smug Joel? Obviously you practice what you preach. At the FISK our "primary goal" is to expose lame schmos like you. And as for yur tail that wags, you know where to stick it.

"And let me just add, purely for the sake of Google: sex, alien abduction, Oprah, Tom Cruise, Lindsay Lohan, jumbo hooters the size of watermelons, Dick Cheney, Mark of the Beast, Armageddon, free money."

But thanks for the tip.

P.S.: You forgot Cindy Sheehan, George Bush, Iraq... Shizer!

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Friday, August 19, 2005

Vioxx gets it up the wazoo!

Anybody got any pain killers?

One trial down and more yet to come.

A jury has awarded $253.4M (yes that's million) dollars against Merck & Co. (Vioxx).

Let's hope for the sake of them lawyers they took the case on a $$$ contingency basis.

Maybe that's why they're smiling so much.

It's also a good thing for Merck that they invented something called the appeal process.

Stay tuned folks 'cause this ain't over by a long shot.

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Thursday, August 18, 2005

Cindy Sheehan's "Absolute Moral Authority"

Rush Limbaugh sets the Record Straight and pleads context is king:


A pair of swelled heads if there ever were:

"Now, I don't expect this to work, because the people who are making erroneous, fallacious, lying comments about things I've said on this program don't even listen to this program, and don't even go to my website to find out what I say. They rely on little pimple-faced kids that are working at wannabe websites who excerpt this program and others, take them out of context, and that's what they use as their source material. Yesterday afternoon on Wolf Blitzer's new show, the Situation Room on CNN, The FOREHEAD appeared, Paul Begala. Jump to audio sound bite #3. Let's start first with what The FOREHEAD had to say. They were talking about the Cindy Sheehan story, and Wolf said to The FOREHEAD, "Do you think Cindy Sheehan is going too far?"

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but was Rush referring to we bloggers as "pimple-faced kids... working at wannabe websites"?

Because if that is the case you and I will butt heads tubby, so to speak. Then again, (speaking out of context) he does make a point, and I don't mean Paul Begala's head either.

Present company excluded of course. But I digress...

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Bush in the Bubble

Would you be this man's Neighbour?

What did Mr. Rogers say?

Oh yes, now I remember... "it's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood..."

So George is spending the summer riding bicycle in the bush, while back at the ranch his administration takes the heat as they fess up to the reality in Iraq.

"What we expected to achieve was never realistic given the timetable or what unfolded on the ground," said a senior official involved in policy since the 2003 invasion. "We are in a process of absorbing the factors of the situation we're in and shedding the unreality that dominated at the beginning."

All the while the Pentagon is still scrambling to protect the troops with adequate body armour.

"The ceramic plates in vests worn by most personnel cannot withstand certain munitions the insurgents use. But more than a year after military officials initiated an effort to replace the armor with thicker, more resistant plates, tens of thousands of soldiers are still without the stronger protection because of a string of delays in the Pentagon's procurement system."

Besides a few glitches Bush still assures us that everything is going according to plan. Hell, even his most intimate neighbour Cindy Sheehan has ceased her vigil.

It's a beautiful day for a holiday. It's a beautiful time to be alive. It's also a good time to smell the coffee -- don't you think George?

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Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Bush Deploys Salvation Army to Iraq?

A contributing writer for Blogcritics has caught the Christian Post in the very un-christian-like position of plagiarism.

The fictional story entitled "Bush Deploys Salvation Army to Iraq" stated that Bush had called up 30,000 Salvation Army recruits to bolster the troops in Iraq.

"The designated duty is to bolster duty around Iraq's borders and prevent additional insurgents from crossing into Iraq and disrupting the peace process."

It was of course a made-up story, but that is not the point. The Christian Post picked it up as a genuine news article with no references made to the author.

In this writers view, this only proves once and for all that Christians are NOT perfect and should be condemned for their hypocrisy. They go around acting as if they are so high and mighty, even having the nerve to force moralist laws down the throats of the rest of us folk.

I can already hear the grumblings. So what if Christians are not perfect you say! Neither are you. But I say the difference is that we already know it, and at least we're not hypocrites about it.

The original author has asked the question. "What would Jesus Do?" Well this writer can tell you what he would do. He would say that no Christian should hold a position of authority within a publicly held corporation. We the people have the right to not have some hypocrite making decisions that influence the share value of our investments.

This writer is so fed up with these christoids that he would go so far as to submit there oughta be a law stating that they cannot hold public office. We want real people making our laws. People who are deeply flawed like the rest of us and make no bones about it. Not some pie in the sky hypocrite that couldn't stay on the straight and narrow even if their life depended on it.

Now that you mention it, some have even suggested we should give them a taste of their own medicine. Burn a few at the stake and see how they like it. Christoid kabobs. Yeah! Or better still, give them over to the jihad terrorists and lop off their heads. Too bad the colluseum is in disrepair.

Extreme perhaps? Extreme measures for extremists I always say.

*Editor's note: This is a tongue-in-cheek work of satire. Have a great day. Top of Page

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

Intelligent Design OR Looking for God in all the 'Right' Places

Einstein: God does not play dice with the universeEditors Note: Perhaps all the flak over the president's comments is due to the words "intelligent design" and "Bush" being used in the same sentence?
Hell, if you can't see it, and if you can't measure it then it ain't there. Everybody knows that.

We teach our kids real scientific theory not faith, so there's no way that 'Intelligent Design' claptrap is gonna be taught in our schools. Hell, no.

We teach our kids about real stuff that has been proven under strict scientific conditions and stood the test of time.

I doesn't matter to me that most theories are replaced every few years. At least it's done by real science.

After all, we teach our kids about important things like the big-bang theory and gravity and such.

What's that you say? Gravity is an unseen force? Ok, I admit we can't see gravity but we can still feel it's effects. Right? And just because we can't see it don't mean it ain't there.

Ok wait a sec. I think I see where you're going with this so stop messin' with my head. The next thing you're probably gonna tell me is the big-bang never really happened.

Excuse me? Who lit the fuse? Well, just because we don't know who started it don't mean it didn't happen. It was probably that great cosmic arsonist in the sky or something.

I mean... say again? What is the universe expanding into? Talk about an exercise in semantics. No way I'm going there bud.

Ok, maybe I see your point. Come to think of it, scientific theory is kinda like faith. Both take a little bit of "faith" to believe in.

But then again, I never was much of a gambler. May the force be with you.

Editor's other Note: For the benefit of those who did not get it, this post is a work of satire with a strong element of irony. So don't get your shorts in a dither. This has been a public service announcement. Top of Page

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Is Rove having an affair?

bubblehead turd blossomby CW FISHER
Karl Rove is proof that if you give a mousey man enough power he'll eventually become the size of a huge rat. Now the rumor says Karl's been cheating on his wife, shtupping some chick, violating his vows, living a lie. This is not especially shocking since Karl Rove deals in lies; they're his trade and talent. He's the Great Renamer who turns terrorists to extremists, churches to faith-based organizations, and blowjobs to something that's his business, especially if it's yours.

Even the White House thinks he's two-timing his old lady (who's also a bit tubby). An anonymous White House 'spokesman' called it "the business of these two individuals who have personal lives." And a great respect for the sacred institution of marriage, lest we faggots forget what turned the last election.

Personal lives? Personal lives are food to Karl Rove. Therefore, just for Karl, may no smear be too small, no allegation too inappropriate, no charge too factless. For is it not in accordance with natural law, statute 7, that states "what's good for the geese is good for the gander?"

The gander's a philanderer, according to George Rush and Joanna Molloy (sitting in for the vacationing Liz Smith, whose column is syndicated by Tribune Media Services).

The whispered-of woman is Karen Johnson, a lobbyist for roads and transportation for the state of Texas. The two met while Bush was governor and became close personal friends in 2000.

Karen appears often on Karl's arm at parties and other events, and is described as 'comely.'

The word comely evokes explosive imagery which caused a three hour Google search for her picture-- but even after filtering out porn, none appeared. Could they be that stealthy? Or is it all a lie?

With Karl, it's hard to tell, because the truth is such a flexible substrate, spongey, messy. It's why he likes to start from scratch and create it from the foundation up. He knows that we parrot and repeat, that what we say becomes what we believe, that belief becomes action.

A manipulated nation is like a well trained audience that knows when to laugh and when to applaud, how hard, how long and whether or not to stand up. But a great nation is like a discerning audience, free to be honest, that can jeer and walk out and give bad reviews without landing in jail or losing a job.


Let then this be our thrust and theme, that Rove be a rogue of a smarm so toxic, he soaks in a tubful of his own bombastica. Great nation that is America, rise now in swell to jeer and boo, and give not up until he's booed off stage to die in the darkness he came out of.

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Welcome the Apologist!

We are privileged to announce the addition of Curt Fisher (aka the Apologist) as a contributing writer to the daily FISK.

Curt is a professional writer whose razor wit, biting humor and insight will keep you entertained as well as informed.

Welcome to the FISK Curt!

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

John Bolton's "Real Purpose" at the United Nations?

Much has been said about Bush's IN YOUR FACE appointment of John Bolton as U.N. ambassador without Senate approval. But what some don't realize is Clinton exercised his executive privilege similarly many times during his tenure.

It is said that a picture says a thousand words. Well, I guess these pictures say it all.

This sculpture at the Visitor's Plaza of the United Nations in New York was a gift from the Government of Luxembourg and presented to the United Nations in 1988. The sculpture depicts a 45-calibre revolver, the barrel of which is tied into a knot and was created as a "peace symbol" by artist Karl Fredrik Reutersward.

A talented aspiring political cartoonist, Jonah Lobe, made the following depiction of Bolton's plans if confirmed to be America's Ambassador to the U.N...

In your face indeed. Source.

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