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Thursday, August 04, 2005

Is Rove having an affair?

bubblehead turd blossomby CW FISHER
Karl Rove is proof that if you give a mousey man enough power he'll eventually become the size of a huge rat. Now the rumor says Karl's been cheating on his wife, shtupping some chick, violating his vows, living a lie. This is not especially shocking since Karl Rove deals in lies; they're his trade and talent. He's the Great Renamer who turns terrorists to extremists, churches to faith-based organizations, and blowjobs to something that's his business, especially if it's yours.

Even the White House thinks he's two-timing his old lady (who's also a bit tubby). An anonymous White House 'spokesman' called it "the business of these two individuals who have personal lives." And a great respect for the sacred institution of marriage, lest we faggots forget what turned the last election.

Personal lives? Personal lives are food to Karl Rove. Therefore, just for Karl, may no smear be too small, no allegation too inappropriate, no charge too factless. For is it not in accordance with natural law, statute 7, that states "what's good for the geese is good for the gander?"

The gander's a philanderer, according to George Rush and Joanna Molloy (sitting in for the vacationing Liz Smith, whose column is syndicated by Tribune Media Services).

The whispered-of woman is Karen Johnson, a lobbyist for roads and transportation for the state of Texas. The two met while Bush was governor and became close personal friends in 2000.

Karen appears often on Karl's arm at parties and other events, and is described as 'comely.'

The word comely evokes explosive imagery which caused a three hour Google search for her picture-- but even after filtering out porn, none appeared. Could they be that stealthy? Or is it all a lie?

With Karl, it's hard to tell, because the truth is such a flexible substrate, spongey, messy. It's why he likes to start from scratch and create it from the foundation up. He knows that we parrot and repeat, that what we say becomes what we believe, that belief becomes action.

A manipulated nation is like a well trained audience that knows when to laugh and when to applaud, how hard, how long and whether or not to stand up. But a great nation is like a discerning audience, free to be honest, that can jeer and walk out and give bad reviews without landing in jail or losing a job.

CUE: MUSIC.

Let then this be our thrust and theme, that Rove be a rogue of a smarm so toxic, he soaks in a tubful of his own bombastica. Great nation that is America, rise now in swell to jeer and boo, and give not up until he's booed off stage to die in the darkness he came out of.

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5 Comments: 'Reach out and FISK someone'...

At 4:01 PM, Anonymous snarky said...

Whoa!

I take it you're not a fan of his?

 Edit Comment
At 4:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

From one spin doctor to the next.

 Edit Comment
At 4:38 PM, Anonymous pushinthebush said...

"CUE: MUSIC"

How 'bout to the tune of "Hail the Witch is Dead". (There are male witches are there not).

 Edit Comment
At 5:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

rather inflammatory statements don't u think?

 Edit Comment
At 1:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's called "ding-dong the dork is dead"

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Home
Welcome the Apologist!

John Bolton's "Real Purpose" at the United Nations...

Mail Order Brides, Japanese Style

I'll see yur Goat and Raise you a Cow

Roberts just Smiles for the Cameras

If they take Manhatan, we'll take Mecca

Beam me "UP" Scotty

Just who is John Roberts anyway?

Is Canada going Soft(er) on Terrorism?

Lame duck...

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