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Thursday, August 04, 2005

Intelligent Design OR Looking for God in all the 'Right' Places

Einstein: God does not play dice with the universeEditors Note: Perhaps all the flak over the president's comments is due to the words "intelligent design" and "Bush" being used in the same sentence?
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Hell, if you can't see it, and if you can't measure it then it ain't there. Everybody knows that.

We teach our kids real scientific theory not faith, so there's no way that 'Intelligent Design' claptrap is gonna be taught in our schools. Hell, no.

We teach our kids about real stuff that has been proven under strict scientific conditions and stood the test of time.

I doesn't matter to me that most theories are replaced every few years. At least it's done by real science.

After all, we teach our kids about important things like the big-bang theory and gravity and such.

What's that you say? Gravity is an unseen force? Ok, I admit we can't see gravity but we can still feel it's effects. Right? And just because we can't see it don't mean it ain't there.

Ok wait a sec. I think I see where you're going with this so stop messin' with my head. The next thing you're probably gonna tell me is the big-bang never really happened.

Excuse me? Who lit the fuse? Well, just because we don't know who started it don't mean it didn't happen. It was probably that great cosmic arsonist in the sky or something.

I mean... say again? What is the universe expanding into? Talk about an exercise in semantics. No way I'm going there bud.

Ok, maybe I see your point. Come to think of it, scientific theory is kinda like faith. Both take a little bit of "faith" to believe in.

But then again, I never was much of a gambler. May the force be with you.


Editor's other Note: For the benefit of those who did not get it, this post is a work of satire with a strong element of irony. So don't get your shorts in a dither. This has been a public service announcement.
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4 Comments: 'Reach out and FISK someone'...

At 12:37 PM, Anonymous joe said...

"if you can't see it, and if you can't measure it then it ain't there."

If you can't smell it don't eat it.

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At 12:45 PM, Anonymous james said...

looking fur love in all the wrong places...

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At 9:05 AM, Blogger CW Fisher said...

See, I agree with this completely. This is exactly how I feel. That the religionists and rulemakers miss all the points entirely, that it's all impossible, all miraculous. Miracle seekers are generally deaf, dumb and blind to such impossibilities as thumbs, stars, flies, sunlight. Things work perfectly well without human assistance. Life is beautiful, brutal, ugly, carnivorous, unchangeable, yet we are built to only think about ourselves, as in Me. Therefore when a wildebeast drowns in an alligator's jaws, that's how it goes. But if Me gets cancer and has weeks to live, Me screams out to God no fair! You hate me! You're doing it on purpose! whether Me believes in God or not. This is how out of touch we are. The wildebeast's mother knows the score --she leaves the kid and runs. Humans sit down and try to work it out, mourn it, explain it, put it away, grow from it, while their children are being ripped apart underwater.

The problem is God. If we could just get rid of him we could live peaceful, normal lives, instead of trying to impress him, or reassure him how great he is, and beg him for a little extra help if ya know what I mean. And we'll fight for God, if that's what he wants. Even the people who throw God the hell out of their lives still have to deal with him. They have to fight against him, deny him, kick him in the toe. Most people deny the existence of God, Christians as often as three times a day, athiests bimonthly, but they do it with penecostal enthusiasm. Muslim, at least lately, have been blowing themselves up, as if this might be something God would get a kick out of. Athiests seem to do a better job of living good, clean lives without obsessing on their reasons for goodness, other than the fact that they know right from wrong and have learned from their mistakes, or not. The religious have it harder because they have to pin events on God, pin the sins on sinners, present a nice pure heart, tithe or at least throw something in the basket, and sit through it-- this is not easy stuff but tough stuff -- and even worse it can lead directly away from God, as any path can. Yet to forget God is to get God, to lose the word is to gain the Word. For in the beginning, that's all there was.

Having said that, "Intelligent Design" is a euphemism for what used to be called "Brain Washing."

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At 5:58 PM, Anonymous dannel said...

Brilliant BB!

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