Saturday, December 24, 2005

First Anal 'Funniest Blog Post' Awards for 2006

I was googling for the funniest post of the year awards, and strangely enough I came up empty. The closest one I could find was this, but it is limited to only political blogs.

So the FISK thought he would get the ball rolling and make it open to everyone. Send me the links of your funniest posts for our First Annual (sorry about the freudian slip) 'Funniest Blog Post' Awards and the FISK will announce the winner in the new year.

BTW, voting for yourself is allowed as long as it's done discreetly.

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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year One and All

The daily FISK wishes you and your loved ones a joyous festive season.

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Saturday, December 10, 2005

I Hate Evil Landlords

Wasn't Ebenezer Scrooge a landlord? With the coming festive season I thought it would be a good time to rant on one of my favorite peeves:

Have you Been Screwged Lately?

Money-mongers, the lot of them. Landlords won't hesitate to throw you out into the cold and snow. They will dance on your grave and roll in cockapoo if it meant getting the rent out of you.

Landlording has a long and proud tradition in common law that goes way back to the middle ages and beyond. Fatted 'lords' salivating for more land and wealth would drive off the peasantry, steal their property and make them serfs to work their own land.

If you don't believe me just ask the Irish who were forced to resettle in that new land of wet dreams called America.

Sometimes it was just the luck of the draw. Those same fatted 'lords' would round up the peasants to fight their wars over greed, power, God and king.

If you were on the losing side and survived they would expropriate your land and make you a tenant. If you died -- all the better and they would expropriate your land and make some other sucker work it. Either way the poor guy lost.

Obviously God ordained the winning side and wanted them to have it all. Makes sense right? It did to them.

Wonderful invention those words "expropriation" and "tenant". Just fancy terms for land seizure and the sucker that pays your bills.

It also makes you want to run out and pay for a tour of some thieving bastard's castle the next time you visit jolly old England. So what was that bloke's name anyway? Oh yeah, it was the Count of Dorkester or something like that. I say boycott the tour and make the lazy bastard get a job like the rest of us. And while you're there be sure to give my regards to old lady Liz.

Crooked judges who were also landlords scowl at you for being tardy in your rent. "Throw the scum into debtors prison" they shouted with the smash of a gavel. "Next victim please... too bad only witches are burned at the stake."

Of course, with the invention of judges and courts to protect the interests of the haves, they also needed lawyers to screw over the have-nots. Squeeze out the last few pennies from the stooge.

Apparently the term 'lawyer' was originally derived from the old english word 'liar'. But somewhere in the evolution of jurisprudence it got lost in the translation. Eventually the word was to become synonymous with another invention -- the "politician." (Don't get me going or we'll be here all night.)

Not much has changed over the years and here is a true story. I have a friend who has been unable to work for health reasons. His income is well below the poverty line and has to live in subsidized housing.

His nazis landlords have been trying to get rid of him and his mixed-race family. He has always paid his rent on time, has never been a problem to his neighbours and is a good citizen.

And yet the landlord has made up all kinds of malicious lies and dragged him in front arbitrators over and over again, only to lose in the end because they were proven to be liars and cheats. But that hasn't deterred them from trying again. A not so random act of terrorism if there ever was.

My friend can't move to another place because the government body that oversees subsidized housing says they will not intervene so long as he is "not in good standing" with his current landlord. Talk about a rigged system.

The arbitrators party with these a-holes and are on a first-name basis. After all, that is where their bread and butter comes from. If it weren't for evil landlords there would be no work to keep them in the comfort they are accustomed to. A bunch of self-serving schmucks if there ever was.

This Christmas my friend is facing another possible eviction. Again, over a made-up story by the landlord. If the dirtbags are successful, his family will have nowhere else to go except to the nearest park bench in the dead of winter.

Think kindly of him and his family as they go through another terrifying experience during this festive season. Let's hope there will be a happy ending for him and all the other not so well off families just like the real Christmas Carol.

Merry Christmas Mr. Scrooge. Humbug indeed!

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Saturday, December 03, 2005

Republicans: A Brief History

I came across this tongue-in-cheek post about how different the United States would have been if the Republican Party had not been formed. Some of the tasty morsels are:

March 20, 1854
Opponents of Democrats’ pro-slavery policies meet in Ripon, Wisconsin to establish the Republican Party.

May 30, 1854
Democrat President Franklin Pierce signs Democrats’ Kansas-Nebraska Act, expanding slavery into U.S. territories; opponents unite to form the Republican Party.

June 16, 1854
Newspaper editor Horace Greeley calls on opponents of slavery to unite in the Republican Party.

You can read more about a history of the Republican party here. It presents an interesting paradox considering that the dems now have the majority black vote. They seem to have successfully reinvented themselves from minority transgressors to minority activists. How times have changed.

Of course, a hundred or more years later we can never be certain how much is based on actual fact or just revisionist propoganda. That is the problem with history -- it becomes colored through the lens of time and the interpreter, but it makes for an interesting read nonetheless.

He goes on to add:

Grrrrrr!
It just infuriates me how Democrats are glomming onto Rosa Parks' death to get face time. When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on that bus, the majority of blacks in the south were Republicans. It was Democrats who passed segregation laws, Democrats who made up "black codes" that made it impossible for blacks to vote, Democrats who hid under KKK hoods, Democrats who savaged blacks during peace marches, Democrats, Democrats, Democrats! Democratic cult figure John Kennedy promised in his campaign speeches to act swiftly to end discrimination if elected President. He was elected. And he didn't lift a finger to push forward the civil rights issue. As a senator, Kennedy also voted against President Eisenhower's 1957 Civil Rights Act. And now Democrats are posing as champions of freedom and justice -- like a person who passes gas in an elevator and pretends it was someone else who did it. Disgusting!!
The writer is anonymous and states "I've been a broadcaster for more than 32 years. I've held every job there is in a radio or television station. I've lived and worked all over the world and am presently writing for an international news agency based in Washington, DC. loneranger85@hotmail.com"

I've ruled out Dan Rather. Any suggestions?

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